Selective Listening

Excuses are the antithesis of opportunity.

     As a teacher I find it easy to fall into the trap of "He is a _________, so he won't be able to do it", instead of "He is a _____________ so I need to _____________", When I feel myself slipping, when my balance is off, I remember my friend Frank. 

      Students like Frank, today, are considered morbidly obese. It was that day in PE we all dreaded, Frank most of all. We needed to make the mile run. Students would run, jog, walk or meander through the task with little in the way of thought or effort. For most teachers, most years, looking at Frank was the only wordless excuse necessary. He would never finish. He had never finished. This year was different. 

      As Frank began to struggle, our teacher dropped his clipboard and started running the mile next to him. Step by step, they ran through the class period. They ran through the bell. They ran as long as Frank needed. I do not know which excruciating footfall had the greatest impact for Frank, but a quiet moment came when he changed.

      Two days later Frank approached the PE teacher and asked to join our Cross Country team. His running stats were five to ten times longer than those of his teammates, but he finished. He listened to his peers complain about bringing down their average, but he finished. He got sick at every meet, but he finished. Sometimes it was after the awards ceremony started, but he finished.

      Eventually, the team realized what was happening with Frank was bigger than all of us. His teammates would finish their race, find Frank and finish their race again by his side. Frank became the heart of our Cross Country team because his teacher heard his excuses and taught him how to finish the race. 

      Hearing an excuse and accepting an excuse are two different things. Frank's teacher created a " No Excuses" environment without ever losing sight of Frank. He saw his student's excuse and met that excuse with understanding, scaffolding his teaching to meet Frank's need. Rue Ratray said something similar, "The very best teachers aren't just No Excuses. The Know Excuses. They don't accept them. But they know them and manage them." 

      Motherhood has convinced me of the importance of "selective listening," the art of processing a child's excuses by throwing away obstacles and using the rest as a teaching tool. Frank, his teacher and their perseverance guide me reaction to a student's excuses and continue to help me find the right balance within my own classroom.